A Day In The Life
by ThePopTartSpirits
Summary: Will be R later... you'll see. Jou’s class is given an assignment: draw a name out of a hat and stalk them for a month, compiling what is learned into a presentation. Will Jou end up learning more than he ever needed to know? And who is stalking him?
1. Ch 1

**A Day In The Life**

_by ThePopTartSpirits... aka DeepSense Remix_

AN: Well, while Orion is on hold whilst someone plugs up the holes in it, I decided to start another one. It's an idea I've been toying with. It shouldn't be too long.

**Ch. 1**

Jonouchi Katsuya opted not to fall asleep in class for some reason that day, and afterwards was immensely glad he'd made that decision. The project announced was worth their second quin grade.

"It's rather simple, really," the sensei explained. "You are to come up here, draw a name out of the hat, and for the next month you are to learn as much about them as possible. The only catch – they **cannot** find out who their 'stalker' is, if you will. I want a documentary in either PowerPoint or video form by the end of the semester. We'll present that last week before Christmas break."

Jou and one of his best buddies, Honda Hiroto, exchanged glances of apprehension and scorn. On the one hand, here was a chance to stalk someone in the class. It was a fair distribution of female and male; Honda figured he might get lucky. On the other hand, however, Jou was dreading accidentally having to stalk or being stalked by his archenemy, Seto Kaiba, who sat two seats across from him.

Honda knew what was troubling his friend. Jou lived a harsh life, and few knew it. "It's not that big of a deal," he said comfortingly, patting his buddy on the shoulder. "What could happen in a month?"

"Lots of things," Jou groused. "I could rattle off about twenty, but you'd get scared again and start sending those whaddayacallems – social workers - around again."

Honda drew himself up in self-defense. "You know perfectly well why I thought that had to be done."

"Yeah," Jou sneered, drawing up his right pant leg to reveal a purple scar. "And here's what Dad thought of it."

His expression softened when he saw Honda's face fall. "I'm sorry, man... I got no right bein' so jaded. Ya did what ya thought was right, there's no wrong in that."

Honda offered him a feeble grin, but his eyes were still troubled as he stood. Together they wove through the mass of people towards the teacher's desk. Crossing his fingers, Honda was the first to plunge his hand into the old-fashioned top-hat. Reading the name, he frowned.

"What?" Jou queried.

"It isn't you." 

"So?"

Honda sighed. "Well, I was hoping I'd get you... so no one else did."

Jou nodded. It was times like these when he felt luckiest to have a friend like Honda. Taking a deep breath, Jou felt around in the hat. He didn't look at his slip of paper right away; instead, he shoved it deep in his pocket and grinned at his friend. "I'd rather wait to rant about whoever it is when no one can hear me," he explained.

A shout behind him caused Jou to turn. Yugi Motou, another good friend, was staring at his slip in dismay. "Who'd ya get?" Jou asked, poking his nose forward.

"Can't tell you that, Jou..." Yugi sighed. "It's not you, though."

"Did **everybody** want to get me?!" Jou exclaimed. Yugi giggled. "No. I said that because that's all I can tell you."

Suddenly the door slammed, resulting in a few half-hearted shrieks. No one but Jou noticed that Seto Kaiba was no longer in the room.

The sensei shoved his glasses back up the bridge of his nose with a casual sigh, then shouted above the teenage din, "Tomorrow, everyone needs to bring me the name of the person they're stalking, as well as what type of project you're doing. Don't forget: you can't tell **anyone** who you're going to follow."

The bell rang, and in the resulting clatter, no one heard the sensei say, "Have a great rest of the day."

When he got home, Jou phoned Honda, but the young man wasn't home. His mother said something about 'he's going to rent a video camera'. Jou tried calling Yugi, too, but he was busy with customers in the Game Shop his grandfather ran. Sighing dejectedly, Jou flopped back on to his bed... and then remembered the school project.

He wondered, first, who he might have gotten. Could be Yugi, and that would be fun. Could be Ryou, and that would be scary, because the spirit of his Millennium Ring might try to kill anyone it thought was stalking its host. Could be Anzu, and that would be downright sickening... Jou shuddered at the thought of having to stalk the school bicycle.

Well, there was no use in deliberating any further. Digging around in his pants pocket, his fingers closed around the slip of paper. Steeling himself, he held it in the light and read the name printed there.

The paper fell to the dirty floor, and Jou collapsed with a bang against the wall his bed sat next to. Somehow, he'd known all along who he'd get, and had been dreading it.

"With good reason," he grumbled aloud. "I could get killed stalking someone like that."

The forlorn little slip of paper, now crumpled on the ground, bore the neatly printed name of Seto Kaiba.

**-fin chapter-**

For the teacher, think Lupin from the Harry Potter movie.

Reviews please. If I get flames, I won't care. I'll just go back to making icons instead of writing, because I have plenty of fans in that business.

Hope you liked it. Next chap soon.


	2. Ch 2

**A Day In The Life  
**  
I'm not going to say this every chapter – just now. So remember it. I am obviously not Kazuki Takahashi, and so therefore could not possibly own Yu- Gi-Oh or any facet of it.  
  
Now that that's over with, here's the second chapter. Have fun, no flames please - at least not in reviews. If you have a serious problem with this story, please email me.  
  
**Ch. 2  
**  
Seto Kaiba stormed around at 5:30 a.m., making coffee. For him, the morning brew was not just a welcome stimulus – it was a rousing ritual of bangs, slams, crashes and the occasional curse when he dropped something.  
  
It was just as well that Mokuba rarely made an appearance before seven.  
  
"Stupid – fucking – class," he growled, banging the full cup down so hard that the steaming liquid splashed on to his pale piano fingers. A stream of sailor's curses followed the rest of the cup as it sailed through the air, contiuing until after it had exploded spectacularly against the wall and splattered to the floor. "Bloody – fucking – project..."  
  
"What are we, Manchester United?" grumbled an extremely cranky, fuzzy headed Mokuba, who trudged in trailing bathrobe cords and mimicking his older brother. "Bloody wanking this, bloody pissing that... a reg'lar auld English gennleman, ain't we?"  
  
"What are you doing up so early?" Kaiba inquired, shocked.  
  
"Coming to watch the coffee mug massacre, as obviously you're having too much fun to stop at just _uno_," the slate-eyed boy answered drily, heavily accenting the Spanish word. He reached for another mug on his tiptoes, then filled it and handed it to his brother. "Go on, then," he urged sarcastically, sounding like a BBC reporter. "Give 'er a good knocking."  
  
Kaiba, instead, chose to sip the brew black, regarding his brother through narrowed eyes. "You are not to repeat what you heard."  
  
"Course not," the boy replied airily, fixing his own mug of milk. "I solemnly swear that I never saw Seto Kaiba murdering innocent coffee mugs because of a school project, and I never heard him say the word f – "  
  
"You're pushing it, kid," Kaiba interrupted calmly, but his nostrils were white. Mokuba grinned. "All right, then. So what's this project about, that's got you all incensed like this?"  
  
Did Mokuba even know what 'incensed' meant? Probably, he used it in context, and Kaiba was no judge of his brother's ability – he was always so involved in work that he barely knew the kid anymore. This morning being prime example.  
  
"I have to spy upon a member of my class for a month. Upon which time I must present my findings to the class – provided that the teacher approves the project for viewing."  
  
"Was about to say," Mokuba interjected, "somebody could get sued for something like that."  
  
"Yes, it is all very woolly..." Kaiba murmured into his coffee. He hoped Mokuba wouldn't ask –  
  
"So who are **you** supposed to stalk, hm?"  
  
Damnit.  
  
"Someone I have no interest in whatsoever." He managed a derisive snort.  
  
"Well, it can't be Jou then." Mokuba grinned.  
  
Kaiba raised an eyebrow. "What is that supposed to mean?"  
  
"You're _obsessed_ with Jou. Kinda like you're obsessed with Yugi, only with Yugi it's a purely vengeance-based obsession, whereas Jou has a kind of a hold on you – "  
  
"That's enough," Kaiba said evenly. "I think you should start getting ready for school."  
  
"Okay," Mokuba said. He rinsed his mug out in the sink and turned to walk out of the kitchen, when Kaiba said:  
  
"This all has to remain secret, you know. It's one of the rules."  
  
"I know," the boy said offhandedly. "That's the whole fun of it, ne?" And he was gone, up the stairs, before Kaiba could say another word.  
  
An _obsession_ with the puppy? He could admit to a sort of... thing, wherein he felt that a day had been wasted if he hadn't taunted or fought with the puppy at least once. Or that if Jou was standing there, Kaiba would have a very strong urge to walk by and say the **one** thing that would make Jou furious, and he'd walk away laughing. That sort of thing.  
  
That wasn't an obsession... that was hobby.  
  
Very different.  
  
Once again self-assertive, Kaiba dressed for school and only glanced at the mirror once before leaving the house. Sharp and pale, in black and silver. Just as he always was.  
  
Never mind that he had to stalk the most annoying, and the blatantly the worst, duelist he'd ever had the displeasure of meeting. _Dumb little mutt... I won't even have to employ secrecy in my ventures... he never notices anything.  
_  
The limo ride, which he took by himself every day, seemed strangely empty that morning...

* * *

**Reviewers** – first off, thank you! I wasn't even going to write a second chapter unless I got reviews, and I received many. 

**Renee the Rabid Squirrel** - Oh so that's who you are on there!! Squee. And don't worry - I won't give up fanfiction. Not unless I get many major flames and they just ::sniff:: break my pooah liddle heart... XD In other words, not on your life!  
  
**Darkmus** – Anything's legal here. And besides, even if it isn't... if I write it well enough, who'll complain?  
  
**Kurayami Ryuu** – With Orion? Trust me, there are holes. For one thing, where's Honda? Kidnapped by aliens? And why doesn't anyone notice he's gone?! I completely left him out by accident... like I said, holes. I'm going to have it severely thrashed and redone... I asked the favor of Ashes (of Le Coeur a ses Raisons fame), and I think she'll beta it as soon as she gets moved. I hope. Well, whatever - thanks for loving it anyway.  
  
**Wish He Was Mine** – Here's a solution: read them all again. I'm sure whichever one it was will jog your memory. And as to humor – God I hope so.   
  
**Amme** – Why, might I ask, was the feeling sinking? That's not good. As for Seto getting Jou – as you can see from this chapter, you are right. However, I planned that part before I started writing, and the impossibility of that situation is the whole point of the story... it was originally just me thinking, well, how would that work? I hope you end up enjoying it.  
  
**xspiritualcrampx** – Thanks for reviewing! I'll try to update regularly.  
  
**Lethe Seraph** – I've heard of you... lots of people like you. nods sagely As for Jou, I was hoping I didn't put people off by how I characterized him... glad I ended up having him IC for once, instead of an angsty wreck. I tend to do that to Seto, too... this story better be a turnaround for me!  
  
**Cabbitshivers** – Reviews like yours make me happy. I'm so glad you think so well of it.  
  
**PokePharaoh** – Oh, he'll live... though not without some pain. They'll both suffer, but it'll have a happy ending.  
  
**Sarasusamiga** – Your name is a mouthful, but your review is appreciated. And I'm sorry about the Anzu thing – I just can't stand her, and had to stick that in. Don't worry though... aside from the occasional snide thing like that, there won't be any bashing. I don't think I'm even going to have her make an appearance... she and Pegasus are my two least favorite charas. As for the others' stalkees... I haven't even thought about that yet. Who do you think they should get?


	3. Ch 3

**A Day In the Life**  
  
A/N: Sorry this took so long... you wouldn't believe how hard it is for me to get computer time in this house. Anyway... welcome back to insight-to- insanity, I haven't seen you in ages!!   
  
Don't own Yugioh, but that doesn't stop me.  
  
Enjoy.

* * *

**Ch. 3**  
  
Jou awoke the next morning with a feeling of dread weighing deep within his stomach, like he'd swallowed a boulder. He still couldn't believe what he had to do for the next month.  
  
_I've had to do some pretty awful things in my life_, Jou thought as he stared out his partially-fogged window, _but stalking Kaiba takes the cake.  
_  
He began pulling on his school uniform, his golden mop of hair still damp from last night's shower. _First off, he's my 'archnemesis', as Honda so dramatically puts it_, he groused as he fumbled with his socks. _Secondly, he's an asshole. That covers a lot of bases right dere... and third, he's a rich bitch. He'll have security out the wazoo. I won't get ten feet towards him before some laser comes outta nowhere and roasts my ass from here to da Ivory Coast.  
_  
"Jonouchi!" A slurred call interrupted his grumbling thoughts. Jou stiffened, partly with loathing and partly with fear. Moments later, an unshaven head poked its way through the open door. With it wafted the stench of unwashed bodies and cheap liquor. The blonde fought the urge to gag.  
  
"Mornin', pops," he greeted his hungover father, the false cheerfulness in his voice grating against his ears. The older man didn't buy it, and spat on the filthy floor at his son's feet. Jou didn't flinch. "Clean yer room!" the wretch slurred, and then withdrew.  
  
Shaking his head in disgust, Jou grabbed his backpack and headed downstairs on his old man's heels. The elder Jonouchi heard him coming and turned on him at the foot of the stairs. "I said clean yer room!" he snarled, enraged, trying in vain to cuff nimble Jou, who dodged almost wearily.  
  
"I'll do it when I get home, Dad... you wouldn't want me to miss the bus, would you?" He spoke as he would to a child, cajoling.  
  
"No, don' wanna miss the bus," his father mumbled, sinking facefirst on to the ratty sofa. Jou sighed as he opened the apartment door, and then locked it behind him.  
  
He didn't know why he bothered locking the door with his father still there; the stench alone would knock a thief out before he was halfway inside. But if the old man couldn't get the lock undone from within, then perhaps the entire neighborhood was better off.

* * *

He caught the bus with no problem and managed to make it to school in one piece; apparently the thugs who rode his bus were still smarting from the beating he'd managed to give them. The memory of that encounter, which should have made him smile, didn't help relieve his gloomy mood. Jou was weighed down by the sobering thought of possibly dying for the stalker project.  
  
Honda and Yugi caught on to their friend's melancholy when they all three met outside the school gates. Jou waved off their concern, however, grinning feebly and insisting he was fine. "It'll pass, man, don't worry about it."  
  
The boys, not convinced, nevertheless let him be. They walked up the stairs in uncomfortable silence.  
  
The "stalker-project-of-d00m" class was sixth period. Heavy of heart, Jou handed the sensei his preliminary report, which included Kaiba's d.o.b., net worth, and the number of secretaries he'd fired in the past month: seventeen. Jou had found it all online. Sixty thousand hits on Google, and fifty-three on Yahoo.  
  
The sensei raised an eyebrow at Jonouchi's moody expression. "What's up, Jou?" he asked sincerely. Jou sighed, gesturing to the report. Glancing at the name, the sensei understood immediately and chuckled a bit. "Ah, yes... well, there's nothing I can do. You drew the name... and everyone else is already paired as well."  
  
Jou nodded, then jumped as a leather-bound portfolio smacked on to the sensei's desk beside him. Seto Kaiba offered a sneer in their direction, and took his seat. Glancing at his own forlorn-looking stapled paper, Jou sighed again and sat.  
  
Their homework was, of course, to begin following their subject as inconspicuously as possible. "If you are found out, you still have to complete the project... I suggest researching effective methods of surveillence before attempting anything," the sensei said.  
  
"Oh, and I've received word that the Miyazaki twins have moved to Kyoto... please welcome a familiar face, transferring from Ms. Uchida's class."  
  
Heads turned, and Jou grinned. In the back of the room, Ryou Bakura waved, smiled and winked in his friends' general direction. Jou did not miss Honda's ears reddening ever so slightly, but neither did he say anything.  
  
"So," the sensei continued, "I've set up deadlines for your project folders, which are all on the second page of your packets... remember, the preliminary information you handed in today must be somewhere in your script. The rough draft of the script is due in two weeks' time, as well as an overview of your filmed findings. Enjoy your weekend."  
  
Kaiba was the first one out the door, in a surprising hurry. Jou and Yugi swapped a few Duel Monsters cards, and were confused when Honda told them to go ahead without him. Ryou stopped to ask Yugi the price of a certain booster pack, and in turn Yugi invited him to go with them to the Game Shop. Jou glanced at Honda, who in turn shoved him bodily out the door.  
  
Before he joined Yugi and Ryou, who were deep in conversation and seemed to have forgotten him, Jou looked back through the door, which hadn't quite closed. Honda was conversing eagerly with the sensei, who looked to be holding in a great burst of laughter. The sensei clapped Honda on the shoulder, with a serious face and humor dancing in his eyes, and said something that compelled Honda to spontaneously embrace the man. With a derisive snort, Jou walked away.  
  
He'd ask his friend tomorrow what that was all about.

* * *

Mai, you know I just couldn't resist using the "rich bitch" thing, for you. XP  
  
The rest of you know the drill – reviews, please!! I appreciate all of my readers/fans/idolizers and love you to death. 


	4. Ch 4

**A Day In The Life**

Again, don't own. Sorry this took so long. I don't like doing this anymore. But I'm bored, and need my ego boosted. If you would like to stay on top of current events (mine, anyway) go to

**Ch. 4**

Kaiba's fist crashed down upon his mahogany desk, barely missing the expensive laptop and not-so-expensive potted fern. His normally cold, expressionless face was twisted into something akin to rage. And he was snarling.

His new secretary didn't bat an eye.

"I can't do anything to change it now, Mr. Kaiba."

He'd fired blonde bimbos for less.

"I suggest you simply throw them out and purchase new ones."

The job of a secretary was not to suggest... it was to sit quietly at her desk and do each and everything little thing that popped into his head. While he enjoyed his enormous fortune.

Right?

"Mr. Kaiba?"

His lip, still locked in a snarl, twitched. "I heard you, Sherry."

"It's Lorraine."

"Whatever. Who is responsible for the... mistake?"

Lorraine, who was over fifty and a no-nonsense woman, raised an eyebrow.

"Well? Who was it?!"

"I believe the cleaners hold several hundred in their employ, Mr. Kaiba. It would be impossible to-"

Seto Kaiba threw a once-silver trench coat, now a bright, cheery pink, against the wall. It flapped rather helplessly and fell to the floor. "I DON'T CARE HOW IMPOSSIBLE IT IS, I WANT THE ONE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS FOUND AND SHOT IMMEDIATELY. AND ONE MORE THING, CORRINE-"

"Lorraine, Mr. Kaiba." A stern glance from her, and Kaiba lowered his voice a few decibels.

"One more thing. I will need to place an order for some specialty parts, to be delivered overnight. Find the necessary books and have them on my desk before 4 P.M."

It was three fifty-two. Lorraine's eyebrow disappeared into her graying bangs.

Seto Kaiba's blue eyes narrowed, and Lorraine nodded.

The moment the door to Kaiba's office was closed, Lorraine set off down the hall muttering viciously under her breath about pompous windbags and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Back in his comfy desk chair, Kaiba slumped. He ran a hand over his face.

That silver trench coat had been custom-made and shipped from the States. How could he go anywhere without it?

How could he wear it when it was PINK?

Pink is not very good camoflauge... he would have to find something else to wear while stalking the puppy.

Propping open his laptop, Seto Kaiba typed in Ebay's web address and was soon clicking happily away, buying fan-made replicas of his favorite coat. Because Seto Kaiba was not one to simply go without.

* * *

Gah. Kaiba is very OOC and this has NOTHING to do with the story. I fit the story in, but this is pretty much a useless chapter. Oh well. I hope some of you found it funny. 


	5. Ch 5

**A Day In The Life**

_by_ The Pop Tart Spirits

**Ch. 5**

YOU'RE WELCOME.

* * *

Jou hit the library after school, figuring he'd research black ops and other people who made stalking a living. "Ninjas," he'd said to Honda earlier, making his friend snort Ramune out of his nose. "Nah, seriously - ninja, vanish!" And he'd made off with Honda's chips.

The librarian's assistant raised an eyebrow as he entered; he winked at her, recognizing her from fourth period. Then he shifted his gaze to the computer desks -

and sighed in dismay. Not only were they full, but there were signup sheets twenty deep.

"Goddamn," Jou muttered. He walked over to the assistant. "Do you know of any free internet cafes around here?" he asked, trying not to let his frustration show. She rewarded his efforts with a smile. "There's one next to the Happy Chii, on Takyuda... and then I think they just installed some computers in Gyoha's Java."

"Thanks, doll," he said with another wink, and sauntered out.

The 'one next to the Happy Chii' turned out to be a subsidiary of Kaiba Corp, and so Jou eschewed it on the assumption that Kaiba could monitor his progress. He was half-joking, and didn't know just how right he was. Kaiba, watching from a nearby parked car, cursed under his breath.

Jou entered Gyoha's Java, ecstatic to see the 'free internet cafe with purchase' sign, and ordered a double shot espresso. He'd found a 1,000 yen note on the sidewalk the other day and figured he could afford it.

The sun was well past the horizon by the time Jou figured he'd read up on enough spy techniques to rival James Bond. He gathered his printouts, paid for them, and shoved open the door - and thanks to his newfound knowledge spotted Kaiba immediately.

Kaiba knew he'd been spotted. He also knew that there was no use trying to hide the fact that he was there. However, the puppy didn't know Kaiba was spying on him.

"Mutt!"

The call stopped Jou in his tracks, bringing him around like an electric leash to snarl in Kaiba's direction. "WHAT, punk?"

And to his surprise, Kaiba found he hadn't thought that far ahead. Or had, and completely forgotten what he'd thought. Jou came closer. "Did you say something to me, shithead?"

"No," Kaiba said coolly, the hotheaded puppy giving him the escape he needed, as always. "One of your fleas must have whispered in your ear."

"Fleas?" Jou hissed, rolling up his papers and shoving them in his back pocket. "So now I have fleas, you arrogant prick? How the fuck do you even know what a flea looks like? You were raised so rich and clean even your shit smelled like flowers."

"Was that you, all those years ago, raiding our garbage cans? It must have been, to know what my excrement smelled like."

Jou had no words, he was so furious. Kaiba smirked down at him, knowing he'd won. "What a fitting place for a mongrel like you, Jonouchi - scavenging in my garbage cans."

With a wordless cry of rage, Jou launched himself at the billionaire. Kaiba did not dodge, but brought up his leg in a graceful kick that landed right to Jou's stomach. The blonde fell to the pavement, retching so hard that tears came to his eyes. Nothing besides the espresso came up, and Kaiba caught himself wondering when Jou had eaten last. Then he shook the thought away, and moved his foot to place it ever so softly on the side of Jou's face, pressing the other side cruelly into the road.

If anyone was watching, they had turned away by then. No one questioned Seto Kaiba's perogative. He'd worked too hard to have it any other way.

Keeping his foot where it was, Kaiba bent down to leer at Jou. "What are you?"

Jou was fighting to breathe, fighting not to cry. He tried to spit at his tormentor and failed, a pathetic dribble of saliva running from his lips. Kaiba laughed.

"I said -" and he leaned down further, causing the weight of his body to press his foot even harder into Jou's face. "WHAT ARE YOU?"

And he let the blonde up. Shaking, crying, gasping, the puppy whispered, "I am not yours to control."

Kaiba turned away, and didn't move until he heard Jou's footsteps recede. Hating himself, he got in the car and drove back to the company.

* * *

R&R. If you flame me, I'll just stop writing. I don't love this enough to compete with your waspishness. 


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